The Onion reports that 500-Foot Terrorist Emerges From Sea To Wreak Havoc On U.S. Just weeks after his body was buried at sea, Osama bin Laden burst forth from the ocean depths early this morning, rising to the monstrous height of 500 feet and rapidly making his way down the East Coast of the United States in a rampage expected to leave hundreds of thousands dead and easily eclipse 9/11 as the worst terrorist attack in U.S. history. Read more.
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