Opinion
U.S. Rep. Jimmy Patronis is upset—not about grocery prices, healthcare access, public education or data centers. No, he’s angry about someone poking fun at President Donald Trump. His outrage is such that the congressman has declared the joke teller, Jelly Roll, is no longer welcome in Northwest Florida.
- My response: Invite Jelly Roll to Pensacola as my guest.
Fat Joke
Country singer Jelly Roll told a joke about Trump’s weight. An enraged Patronis posted on X that Jelly Roll “is 100% not welcomed to Florida’s panhandle.”
“I don’t even want to see his bus on I-10. He’s always been the token ‘country’ star the libs in California are allowed to enjoy. (He ain’t country, never was.)” Patronis wrote. “Take the TDS elsewhere, loser.”
- For those not MAGA, TDS stands for Trump Derangement Syndrome.
The singer, who shed 300 pounds, was a guest host on Jimmy Kimmel Live when he compared his weight loss to “an entire Donald Trump.”
“And let’s be honest, based on his approval ratings, it seems like most of the country wants to do the same thing. From one fat pig to another, take it from me that physical fitness is very important. Trust me, you’ll be happy to see your penis again.”
Who is Jelly Roll?
He is an American rapper, singer, and songwriter. He began his music career in 2003 and earned mainstream recognition with the release of his singles “Son of a Sinner” and “Need a Favor” in 2022.
- “Son of a Sinner” won three CMT Music Awards in 2023. That same year, he won the award for New Artist at the CMA Awards. At the 2026 Grammys, he won three awards: Best Country Duo/Group Performance with Shaboozey, Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song with Brandon Lake, and Best Contemporary Country Album for his tenth studio album, Beautifully Broken.
Patronis Lost Escambia
In the Special Election to fill Rep. Matt Gaetz’s seat, former Florida CFO Jimmy Patronis won, but his Democratic challenger Gay Valimont bested him in Escambia County:
Patronis: 35,849 (48.05%)
Valimont: 38,126 (51.10%
Stephen Broden (NPA): 520 (0.70%)
Write-in: 114 (0.15%)
Pensacola Trip
In Pensacola, the locals measure a good weekend not in spa visits but in tab length. We’re a scrappy Gulf Coast city where the humidity is a personality trait and the bars close whenever the last regular leaves.
- We offer Jelly Roll a visit that trades glitz and curated charm for duct-taped barstools, a punk house with better programming than most museums, a vibrant local food and music scene, and a cooler of fresh shrimp for the ride home.
Here are possible stops for the country music star:
- CJ’s Kitchen: Breakfast engineered for the person who made several regrettable decisions, served by fantastic servers and endless mugs of coffee. He might even get his portrait added to the wall.
- Blue Dot: Cheeseburgers, no fries, and a walking tour of Belmont-DeVilliers. If it’s not open, we’ll head to the MiSu Food Truck, down a few beers at Odd Colony, or pick up wraps and fries at Brown Bagger and eat them inside Alga Beer.
- 309 Punk House: Country’s not punk, but he can see the latest exhibit and learn the house’s cool history. Then we’ll hop in the car and visit the childhood home of Gen. Chappie James.
- The Elbow Room: Any respectable Pensacola weekend must include The Elbow Room, a westside institution. The bartenders have heard every excuse for being here on a Friday afternoon, and there’s a general understanding that if you’re inside before 5 p.m., you’re either off work, avoiding work, or extremely committed to the bit. Order a PBR or a Spocktail.
- Hub Stacey’s Downtown: Great service, sandwiches and drinks. The band may even let him play a song. If they don’t, the crowd will demand it.
- Wisteria: Cold beer and now live music. One of Pensacola’s oldest bars, firmly planted in East Hill.
- The Handlebar: Downtown’s legendary music venue and dive bar, known as the home of Pensacola’s music scene.
- WPNX: Pensacola’s first low-power FM radio station, 107.7, debuts next month. Jelly Roll should definitely do an hour on air.
- Joe Patti Seafood: Load up a cooler with fresh shrimp.
Suggestions
I missed a ton of places. Put your suggestions in the comments.
- And this isn’t a political debate or an attempt to “cancel” Jimmy Patronis or Jelly Roll.
- Think about how you would show off our community to any celebrity.
- If you share this on your social media, tag Jelly Roll. We might get his attention.
Feature photo by Marissa Daeger on Unsplash