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Vampire Diaries sailor from Pensacola

OUTZEN NEWS THEOREM: Every weird news story has either a Pensacola or a Germany connection.

Latest proof: A sailor may be discharged from the US Navy after he fell asleep in another sailor’s bed while watching The Vampire Diaries. According to the Daily Mail, Petty Officer Stephen C. Jones claims that the relationship between the two sailors is platonic, stating that he simply fell asleep in fellow sailor Brian McGee’s bed while watching.

Jones is from Pensacola.

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